(215): I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we’re both awful people.
(215) Really* awful people.
(423): You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
(613): IM WEARING A FLAG
(1-613): So that’s a no to the clothes then
(304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
(810): Don’t take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
(727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
(440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka?
(1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
(631): A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me
(801): Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.