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(215): I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we’re both awful people.
(215) Really* awful people.

(215): I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we’re both awful people.

(215) Really* awful people.

(423): You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants

(423): You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants

(613): IM WEARING A FLAG
(1-613): So that’s a no to the clothes then
(613): FLAG 

(613): IM WEARING A FLAG

(1-613): So that’s a no to the clothes then

(613): FLAG 

(304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE. 

(304): He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE. 

(810): Don’t take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

(810): Don’t take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

(727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus 

(727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus 

(440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

(440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka?
(1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka?

(1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

(631): A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me

(631): A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me

(801): Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.

(801): Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.