(727): I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka?
(1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
(312): You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
(The card giveaway is now closed. Thanks to everyone who wrote in!)
(303): Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it’s the best/worst April fools prank ever.